


Light Years

by suhologist (avisdreams)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Kyungsoo has a cat named kiwi, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Smut, baekhyun has some baggage, baeksoo - Freeform, first love au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-21 16:52:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9558146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avisdreams/pseuds/suhologist
Summary: Everything is fine until Kyungsoo’s first love and childhood friend comes knocking on his door and asks if he can crash for the night.





	

**Author's Note:**

> originally written for the exofreelove fest! thank you to my prompter, i love angsty pieces and this was fun to write. thanks to the mods of the fest for the huuuge extension. i've made minor edits from the original posting, and is generally an un-beta'd mess. there is a warning that is kind of spoilery, so i've put that one in the end notes !!!!

**Friday**

Kyungsoo wakes up to the blare of his alarm clock at 5:45am. It’s Friday, the end to another week.

He arrives at the office fifteen minutes early, only to find Junmyeon typing away furiously at his own computer, a half empty cup of coffee beside a list of things he needs to get done today.

“You make it very hard to leave a good impression as far as dedication to the job goes.” Junmyeon squints up at Kyungsoo, a pleasant crinkle to his eyes despite the heavy circles underneath.

“You know me,” he says, taking a sip of his coffee, “I’m going to need to get a new pillow for under my desk.”

Kyungsoo turns on his computer, mentally making lists of what he needs to accomplish by lunch, and then what he wants to accomplish before he meets his brother for dinner. There’s a lot to get done today, but nothing he can’t accomplish.

 

**〰**

After dinner with his brother Kyungsoo returns to his apartment with an ache in his shoulders and tension in his neck. He refills the water dish for Kiwi, who is probably hiding under his bed. He showers his day away, the hot water a relief for how tense his body is; it was a long week at work. He categorizes groceries he needs to buy this weekend.

He’s much more relaxed after he is dressed, towel hanging around his neck to catch the water droplets from soaking into his collar. Kiwi has made her presence known, sitting on the arm of the sofa, her eyes half closed, purring. He scratches her ear and she leans into his touch. He is about to sit, maybe watch a movie, or continue the book he’s been neglecting, when there is a soft knock on the door.

Confused, the first thing Kyungsoo does is check his phone, only to find no messages that could have warranted this. The last thing Kyungsoo was ever expecting to find on the other side of his door on a Friday night was the back of a head that looked strangely familiar. At the sound of the door opening they turned around, and Kyungsoo is hit in the stomach by the shock at who is there.

“Hi.”

Kyungsoo isn’t one to be stunned into silence. But Byun Baekhyun showing up at his door unannounced is enough.

“Baekhyun — I? What…” Baekhyun looks a little surprised himself, he’s not completely how Kyungsoo has him remembered in his brain, but that’s only natural, isn’t it? It’s been years since they’ve seen each other. Baekhyun is taller than Kyungsoo, but only just. His soft boyish features are still there, but he’s definitely grown. His jaw is sharper and his shoulders are wider, and Kyungsoo can’t stop flicking his eyes around, soaking it in. It’s hard not to. It’s been… it’s been a long time.

Suddenly Baekhyun’s eyes go wide when he looks to the ground, he rushes down, scooping Kiwi up into his arms. She rubs her head under his chin and Kyungsoo can hear her purrs while Baekhyun shines as he receives affection from Kyungsoo’s tuxedo cat.

“Hey little kitty, you’re cute.”

Seeing Baekhyun in front of him, a tangible and real person, holding his cat, makes his head spin. “Baekhyun, what are you doing here?”

That brings Baekhyun back down, he’s still holding Kiwi, but his brows are drawn together. Apprehensive. Kyungsoo hasn’t opened the door all the way, and he knowingly stands in-between Baekhyun and the foyer of his apartment. Kyungsoo notices the large backpack Baekhyun is wearing, and the coat that looks too big for him.

“How do you even know that I live here?” Kyungsoo asks.

“Jongdae told me.”

Jongdae, who is on a vacation with Soojung in China. Jongdae, who has been speaking with Baekhyun all these years. Jongdae, who would mention him in conversation every now and then, as if he were an acquaintance that Kyungsoo simply knew by name and nothing else.

_Oh, and Baekhyun is moving to Daegu. His cousin offered him the spare room in his place. I think he’s just doing it to get out of Seoul for a little while._

Kyungsoo takes another moment to grasp the situation before he opens the door all the way, motioning for Baekhyun that he should come inside. Baekhyun adjusts Kiwi in his grip and enters the apartment without making eye contact, placing the cat on her cat tree near the door. 

“Thank you, for… letting me in.”

“How long do you need to stay?” Baekhyun’s eyes widen, caught off guard by the question. “I’m observant." Kyungsoo continues. "The giant backpack is kind of a giveaway.” 

Kyungsoo doesn’t let his uneasiness show, he doesn’t let anything give away just how much his heart is racing in his chest. He keeps his face in control, which he has practice in, working at the firm under Junmyeon.

“Just the weekend, until Chanyeol comes back from whatever business trip he’s on.”

Chanyeol’s name makes Kyungsoo want to rescind his invitation simply out of spite. It’s been so long since he thought of Chanyeol, and he’s surprised to find that the same jaded bitterness still has a home inside of him. He rationalizes however, that closing the door on Baekhyun isn’t the best solution, nor the right one. He concentrates on picking at his cuticles instead.

“He doesn’t have a spare?”

Baekhyun squirms under Kyungsoo’s gaze. Adjusts the backpack on his shoulder.

“No, he doesn’t. Listen, it’s … whatever, not a big deal. I —”

“Baek,” Kyungsoo swallows, tries to keep his expression neutral when he continues, “until Sunday.”

Kyungsoo could see the tension evaporate from Baekhyun. He keeps his head down while he removes his shoes, placing them near the front door, and finally slides his backpack off his shoulders to place it on the floor. Kyungsoo watches, unsure what to do next. How is it possible that things could get as uncomfortable as they are?

“My bathroom is down the hall and on the left. I’ll get you a blanket.”

Baekhyun doesn’t meet his eyes when he says thank you and goes to the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Kyungsoo busies himself getting things for Baekhyun. He doesn’t have more than one pillow to spare, but he loves being cozy, so there are plenty of blankets to keep Baekhyun warm.

When he comes back into the living area, Kyungsoo is there with a glass of water, holding it out to Baekhyun, who thanks him and takes it eagerly after placing his toiletries on the small end-table next to the couch. He drinks more than half of it at once.

“It’s late, and I only got home about twenty minutes before you arrived,” he cracks his knuckles “so I’m going to bed.” 

There’s a smile on Baekhyun’s face. “Okay.”

Kyungsoo feels sick to his stomach. He tells himself it’s heartburn.

“Goodnight.” he says. He turns around and walks to his room. He can barely hear Baekhyun thank him again as he closes his door.

“What the fuck.” he whispers, sitting himself on top of his comforter. He rubs his hands into his eyes, creating pressure to try and push back the waves of emotion he’s experiencing. Focus on the pressure. Focus. Don’t think about it. About Baekhyun. Baekhyun.

_Fuck._

Kyungsoo can’t fall asleep for a long time.

 

**Saturday**

When he wakes it is earlier than he anticipates. On the weekends he’s usually woken by Kiwi, mewling for Kyungsoo to feed her, but this morning it’s from his own volition. He’s exhausted, completely drained, remembering that Baekhyun sleeping on his couch in the other room is not, in fact, something he dreamed. It sends his head spinning, but he’s always been good at grounding himself.

He finds Baekhyun on the couch, still asleep. He starts his weekend morning routine with the resounding reminder of Baekhyun sleeping just another room away. The sounds Kyungsoo makes in the kitchen brings Kiwi scampering in, weaving around his ankles, and Kyungsoo changes her water bowl and fills her food dish.

Pouring his cup of coffee, black, Kyungsoo starts to make a mental list of the facts. First, that he hasn’t seen Byun Baekhyun in five years. Second, they haven’t been in communication with each other for half of that. Third, something happened to make Baekhyun… he wasn’t sure. Homeless? Probably not, but definitely in need of a place to stay.

Kyungsoo finds himself staring at Baekhyun, still asleep on the couch, fascinated by how different he looks this morning compared to last night. There's a fullness to his face. He looks softer, younger. When he’s asleep he looks — he looks like how Kyungsoo remembers him.

Suddenly Kyungsoo feels warm, too warm, he tells himself it’s from the coffee. He takes a sip, burns his mouth, turns around and dumps the rest of his cup in the sink. He occupies himself with the rest of his routine: he makes his bed, _thinks of Baekhyun,_ brushes his teeth, showers, _don’t think of Baekhyun,_ gets dressed. When he moves towards the living area he isn’t sure if Baekhyun will even be awake yet.

Baekhyun is awake, sitting in the middle of the couch, the softness from earlier gone, hands wrapped around a mug, the mug Jongin always insists he uses when he is over.

“Good morning. You left your coffee pot on. I turned it off.” Kyungsoo spins his head, sees the red light is no longer lit. Not that it matters, it has a sleep mode. He keeps it on so it stays warm, but he doesn’t correct him, not over this.

“Did you sleep well?”

Baekhyun takes a sip of his coffee, he slurps, he’s so noisy. “I did.”

Kyungsoo is acutely aware of every sound around him. The blare of the city through the window, the footsteps of his neighbor upstairs, the blood rushing to his head. Kyungsoo can’t decide where he should fix his eyes, so he shuts them and takes a breath.

“Look,” Baekhyun’s voice, blunt, has Kyungsoo directing his gaze towards him, “This is weird. I don’t like how formal and cordial this is. Let’s get food,” he puts the mug on the end table, disregarding the coaster. “I don’t care what or where. I’ll buy.”

Kyungsoo agrees, and when Baekhyun disappears into the bathroom he moves towards the end table and places Baekhyun’s lukewarm coffee on the coaster.

  
****

****

〰 

 

Everything is busy on Saturday. They make their way to a coffee place and get two muffins to split and share. It’s loud, which Kyungsoo doesn’t mind. It makes their lack of communication slightly less awkward. Baekhyun is fiddling with his napkin, ripping it into tiny pieces, his brows pinched together. He bites his lower lip, and Kyungsoo can’t keep his gaze away from him. Kyungsoo wants to snatch the napkin away, clean up all the little pieces. They’re so messy. There’s an uneasy feeling that's latched itself in his stomach since last night that he doesn’t think will go away.

In the trip from Kyungsoo’s apartment to this moment their conversations have only drifted towards the superficial and trivial. They asked each other about their families; Baekbeom is married now, and Kyungsoo’s father is retiring in a few months. But it’s still formal and cordial. It gnaws at Kyungsoo, itches at him. He hates it.

He takes a deep breath, loud enough that Baekhyun's eyes snap up to him. Their eyes meet and Kyungsoo feels heat traveling to his ears. Time stops for Kyungsoo, weaving and molding and shaping itself to a time when things between them weren’t so rigid, so stiff. He exhales, not realizing he was holding his breath.

It’s Baekhyun who speaks. “I know it’s unexpected…”

“That’s one word.” Kyungsoo sees the red that creeps up Baekhyun’s cheeks when he grabs his mug of hot cocoa and sips. Kyungsoo takes the opportunity to keep speaking. “There’s also ‘shocking,’ ‘abrupt,’ ‘sudden,’” There’s an unexpected bite to his voice. He holds his cup to his mouth and meets Baekhyun’s eyes while he takes a sip. “We didn’t exactly end on the best of terms.” Baekhyun holds eye contact for another moment before breaking it, dropping his gaze to the contents of his mug.

“I know.”

“I don’t want to talk about this here. I want to go home.” Kyungsoo says.

“Okay.”

 

The trip back is quiet, the radio silencing them. But as quiet as they are Baekhyun can’t keep still, and Kyungsoo can’t help but notice. He can feel Baekhyun sneak glances, and it’s driving him insane. When they reach the apartment they leave their shoes by the door, and Baekhyun wordlessly follows Kyungsoo to his small table where he eats and sometimes works. Baekhyun looks at Kiwi asleep on the arm of the couch, her soft purrs barely distinguishable, a humming in Kyungsoo’s chest starts. And Baekhyun’s not smiling, but there’s a tenderness in his face that spikes a wave of heat through him. 

“You can’t pretend like everything is okay.” Kyungsoo says.

“I never said everything was okay.” He directs his eyes away from Kiwi, back to Kyungsoo, who wants to look away. He doesn’t. But he can’t find the right words to say. The heat turns the humming in his chest into a jackhammer.

“You said that we met at the wrong time,” Kyungsoo says, “That we weren’t compatible.” His chest is blooming with old wounds re-opened, and he can’t make it stop. The facade is crumbling and Kyungsoo is hurting. Hurting like he did when Baekhyun first left.

“You’re the one who told me being soulmates doesn’t mean it works, that —”

“I was in love with you.” Kyungsoo cuts him off. He feels as if he is going to collapse into himself, but he doesn’t raise his voice. “You were my best friend. I’d known you for so long. Then you were my boyfriend. I came to terms with us a long time ago, after you stopped talking to me, ” Baekhyun stares at him, eyes wide, his mouth barely parted. Kyungsoo can’t stop his thoughts from flowing out of his mouth. “But I was happy, Baekhyun.”

Kyungsoo concentrates on his breathing. Baekhyun presses his calve against Kyungsoo’s. Kyungsoo doesn’t move away.

“I was scared,” Baekhyun says. “I didn’t know what to do.”

“About what?”

“I wanted to give you what you wanted,” says Baekhyun. “I wanted to be more and — I couldn’t,” he chokes on his words, “I really fucked up.” 

Kyungsoo is tired. So tired.

“You were what I wanted. Now you’re here because you feel guilty?”

“No, I—“ Kyungsoo moves so they are no longer connected under the table.

“Because there’s something you need to resolve?” The jackhammer subsides, only to rumble like a thunder in his heart. “I’m not a loose end for you to tie up before you start the next thing in your life.”

Baekhyun’s eyes are wet, his mouth curled in an angry frown.

“You are not a loose end, Do Kyungsoo,” his voice is firm, “I came knocking on your door because I,” Baekhyun pauses, and Kyungsoo listens, “I had nowhere to go. I lost so much.” Kyungsoo watches as Baekhyun starts to chew on the corner of his bottom lip, and the thunder quiets, and Kyungsoo is feeling so many things, but Baekhyun’s distress has always became his distress.

“What happened?” he asks.

“A fire.”

Kyungsoo’s stomach drops. Why didn’t he know? Why didn’t Jongdae say anything? There are so many questions he has, and so many things he wants to say, but he can’t say anything. Baekhyun continues talking. 

He describes what happened, how he had been sleeping when he woke up to the blaring of an alarm and the smell of smoke permeating his senses. The rush of adrenaline when he realized what must be going on, the speed in which he put on the closest thing that would keep him warm and grabbed his phone and wallet. The gratitude he felt for only being on the second floor.

“It was something electrical that started in my neighbors apartment,” Baekhyun explains, “But I still lost about eighty percent of my belongings. Only a fraction was actually lost to fire, everything else was water or smoke.”

The warmth inside drains out of Kyungsoo, leaving him cold and numb. Baekhyun’s eyes meet his, and there’s a small smile on his face, but his eyes are still wet and Kyungsoo knows there’s a lot of sadness inside. He wants to console him, but he isn’t sure how.

“I’m sorry,” he says. And in those words Kyungsoo wraps a plethora of reasons to be sorry; his anger, his accusations, for what Baekhyun has lost. He knows it’s not enough.

Baekhyun explains how he doesn’t like to dwell on it. “It’s depressing, talking about it. It sucks when you’re trying to find something and you’re caught with the realization that it doesn’t exist anymore.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t even attempt to imagine.

  
****

****

〰 

 

They talk. About Jongdae and Soojung, about Junmyeon and the firm, about Yixing and how he keeps asking Baekhyun to visit but the timing is never right. They don’t talk about Chanyeol, and Kyungsoo can’t figure out if they’re both avoiding it, or just him. They talk until Kyungsoo notices the exhaustion in Baekhyun’s eyes. It’s only the early afternoon, but Kyungsoo offers to let him sleep in his room, telling him it’s better because he can clean and work without having to worry about being quiet. There’s hesitation, but Baekhyun gratefully accepts. Kiwi weaves throughout his legs and purrs.

“Hey pretty kitty.” Baekhyun says, scratching down the bridge of her nose.

“Her name is Kiwi.” Kyungsoo says. Baekhyun picks her up and she pushes her head affectionately against the underside of his chin. Baekhyun smiles at her, and Kyungsoo smiles at him.

“I’m taking her to nap with me,” Baekhyun exclaims, and Kyungsoo can only continue to smile while watching him carry his cat down the hall and into his bedroom, “We’re gonna have a cat nap.” Kyungsoo chuckles. The heaviness in the apartment is subsides, and Kyungsoo feels lighter than he did this morning.

 

Kyungsoo spends the afternoon doing exactly what he told Baekhyun he’d be doing: cleaning.

It’s been less than twenty-four hours but there are still signs of Baekhyun through his apartment; the toothbrush in the bathroom, his shoes by the door, the mug that Kyungsoo placed on the coaster this morning, his jacket draped over a chair at the table. Kyungsoo is cleaning up after them both, but he doesn’t mind. He thinks about Baekhyun sleeping in his bed, and he doesn’t mind that either. He thinks about Baekhyun leaving, and he finds that it’s something he minds very much.

He cooks dinner, bibimbap, and he focuses on that and not on the thoughts swirling through his brain, but the thoughts inevitably surface, of Baekhyun leaving to stay with Chanyeol. He imagines Baekhyun's excitement seeing Chanyeol and it eats at his insides. After so long Kyungsoo never thought he would still feel a bitterness towards him, but Kyungsoo has always had a knack for holding a grudge, and to Kyungsoo it is one that is well deserved. He originally got between Kyungsoo and Baekhyun, when they were fighting a lot. Baekhyun found comfort in Chanyeol that Kyungsoo couldn’t provide. He wouldn’t stop talking about him, and whether it was intentional or not, Kyungsoo doesn’t know, or care.

The door to the bedroom opens, and Kyungsoo looks to see Baekhyun walking into view, eyes swollen with sleep. He looks a mess, but Kyungsoo is endeared by it.

Baekhyun offers to help cook. Kyungsoo's idea of Baekhyun helping is sending him to wait on the couch until everything is finished. Kyungsoo methodically plates the food, makes it look as appetizing as he knows it is. They eat, and they talk. It’s comfortable, although Kyungsoo can’t decide if it’s that or he’s just become used to his heart rate being higher than usual since Baekhyun’s shown up.

**〰**

 

Baekhyun insists that he should clean up. He get’s shoved out of the way after a minute, only making it worse as he splashes water all across the counters. Kyungsoo pushes him away with his hip. “You’re not allowed to help,” he says. But he makes sure his tone is light and that he smiles at him.

It’s still early, but Kyungsoo he feels exhaustion creeping up on him. Baekhyun puts in a movie from Kyungsoo’s collection and swaddles himself in one of the many blankets Kyungsoo keeps lying around his apartment. It’s a martial arts film, one of Kyungsoo’s favorites, and he tries to pay attention, but sleeping is also one of his favorites.

The next thing he realizes is that he is no longer vertical, Baekhyun has his fingers lightly working through his hair, and his head is on Baekhyun’s lap. The movie plays on and Kyungsoo can tell it’s nearly over, so he opens his eyes. Baekhyun has his attention fixed on the movie, the light from the screen creating shadows. He’s chewing on his lower lip, a habit he’s had since they were kids, and Kyungsoo feels at ease, more so than he has in the past month.

“Baekhyun,” he says, just trying to get his attention and let him know he’s awake, and Baekhyun let’s out a yelp of surprise, which has Kyungsoo laughing. He sits up and Baekhyun is clutching his chest, eyes wide.

“I thought you were sleeping!” He swats Kyungsoo on the arm, “I can’t believe I screamed… that is so uncool.” He moans in embarrassment and covers his face with his hands.

“You should have woke me up,” Kyungsoo says, “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“And I didn’t mean to scream. I’m supposed to be manly.”

Kyungsoo cocks an eyebrow at that and pushes Baekhyun who let’s himself fall over, resting against the arm of the sofa. “Then by that definition you've never been manly. You scream at everything.” With his hands still covering his face Baekhyun kicks Kyungsoo with the heel of his foot in retaliation. Kyungsoo can’t help himself from smiling. The banter is welcoming, Kyungsoo always appreciates when someone understands his teasing.

Suddenly the desire to get up and move is strong, he doesn’t want to be sitting in his apartment with Baekhyun right next to him. “Do you want to go for a walk?” Kyungsoo asks, the credits rolling on the screen. Baekhyun only beams at him, embarrassment at being scared forgotten.

“Okay.”

They walk through the streets of Kyungsoo’s neighborhood until they reach a small park. Baekhyun sits on a bench, their hands in their coat pockets. Baekhyun’s nose is red from the chill, Kyungsoo regrets that he didn’t offer him a scarf. He hopes Baekhyun doesn’t get sick. 

“I can’t believe we’re adults now,” Baekhyun says quietly, almost to himself. Kyungsoo would’ve thought he had imagined it had he not turned his body to look at him. Kyungsoo glances for a moment, the orange street lights casting shadows on the angles on Baekhyun’s face, before facing out towards the empty park.

“We grew up.” Kyungsoo says.

“We gave up.” Baekhyun replies. He looks down at his feet while he kicks at the ground. Another little part of Kyungsoo’s heart that he didn’t know could break because of Baekhyun, melts away.

“I didn’t,” Kyungsoo says, “You just thought I did.”

They’re quiet. Baekhyun repeats himself from earlier that day, “I’m sorry,” he says, “You’re not a loose end, Soo. I mean it.”

Kyungsoo sighs, sliding closer to Baekhyun on the bench so their arms, and their knees, are touching. He wants to believe Baekhyun so bad.

“What are you going to do now?” Kyungsoo asks. He doesn’t need to be specific, Baekhyun will know what he means.

“To be honest? I don’t know,” he tilts his head back, gazes at the light-polluted sky of Seoul, “I really don’t know.”

“I’m glad you’re okay, that you didn’t get hurt.”

Kyungsoo looks up with Baekhyun before moving into Baekhyun’s coat pocket, covering his cold hand with Kyungsoo's warm one. They keep looking at the sky and Kyungsoo imagines what he would see if the sky were clear. He knows that the stars in the Big Dipper range from seventy-nine to one hundred and twenty three light years away. Even the things that seem close enough to grasp are impossible to reach. But Baekhyun is sitting next to Kyungsoo and he moves his hand to wind their fingers together. And Kyungsoo thinks, as he holds Baekhyun’s hand a little tighter, that even the things that seem lightyears away are in fact tangible possibilities.

****

〰 

 

Back in his apartment Kyungsoo let’s Baekhyun use his shower first, opting to answer his neglected emails and messages. He researches Home Contents Insurance, it’s the first thing he thinks of, and the least he could do, and sends an email to Junmyeon asking him questions.

Baekhyun exits the bathroom with his hair still wet and patches of his shirt damp where he neglected to dry off completely. He has a pimple on his jaw he’s clearly been picking at, never able to leave his spots alone. Things Kyungsoo remembers, but shouldn’t. He is hit with the sudden realization of how much he doesn’t want Baekhyun to leave him again. He closes his laptop and stands, faces Baekhyun who is confused by Kyungsoo’s abrupt movements.

“I’m,” Kyungsoo says, pauses, “I’m going to shower now.” Baekhyun grins at him, a dopey smile that has Kyungsoo smiling back.

“Okay. Can I make myself tea?”

“Yes,” Kyungsoo says, “And maybe one for me, too?” Baekhyun nods and shoos Kyungsoo away and off to the shower.

Twenty minutes later Kyungsoo is clean and dressed. He finds Baekhyun sitting on the floor in the living space drinking his tea and petting Kiwi, who is laid out before him, begging to be pet and pampered. Baekhyun, of course, obliges her.

“You’re spoiling her,” Kyungsoo says, sitting on the ground across from Baekhyun, Kiwi in between them, and he scratches her on the bridge of her nose and the top of her head with the hand that isn’t grasping his mug of tea, and she purrs so loudly.

“You already spoil her, I’m not doing any more than you would,” Baekhyun teases, “Besides… she adores me.”

“She’s using you, she just wants you to scratch her and give her food.”

“Well she’s clearly living the dream,” says Baekhyun. Kyungsoo switches the conversation,

“I’ll sleep out here tonight. You can sleep in my room.”

Baekhyun frowns, he’s chewing on his lip _again_.

“It’s your apartment, your room, and your bed. You shouldn’t have to sleep out here.”

“So, you actually want to sleep on the couch again?” Kyungsoo asks, cocking his head to the side and raising an eyebrow, trying to keep the mood light. Baekhyun looks towards the couch and then at Kyungsoo before dropping his gaze to Kiwi, using his pointer finger to gently pet one of her white paws delicately.

“No, I don’t,” he says, “But I don’t want you to sleep on the couch either.” He meets Kyungsoo’s eyes and his expression is serious. 

_Oh_.

It’s hard to misinterpret what Baekhyun might mean. “Okay,” says Kyungsoo.

Baekhyun finds one of her toys, a green ball the size of a golf ball with a bell in it. “She plays catch with that,” Kyungsoo tells him.

“You’re joking,” Baekhyun is dumbfounded, demands to see proof. Kyungsoo laughs and gets her attention with the toy. It takes a moment, but she’s alert and meowing at Kyungsoo, her eyes on the toy and her pupils wide. He tosses the ball gently across the room and Kiwi zooms after it, grabs it with her mouth as a dog would, and brings it back to Kyungsoo.

Baekhyun finds this immensely entertaining, grabbing his phone and making Kyungsoo throw the toy again and again so he can record it, and Kyungsoo is happy to indulge. Kiwi runs and hides when Baekhyun yells a little too enthusiastically when watching his video over again, which ends the game of fetch.

Kyungsoo stands, grabs both mugs and brings them to the kitchen to wash. He senses Baekhyun behind him, and feels him rest his chin against his shoulder. “Thank you,” Baekhyun says, “For letting me stay.”

“Despite appearances,” Kyungsoo says as he rinses the mugs, trying to keep the tone light, “You know I wouldn’t make you leave if you had no place to go.” He places the now clean mugs off to the side to dry.

“Thank you, Kyungsoo.” He lifts his chin and headbutts his shoulder. His own special way, Kyungsoo knows, for making sure Kyungsoo knows he’s being sincere. 

In Kyungsoo’s bedroom, Baekhyun is in the bed, clacking away on his phone. Playing a game, or maybe texting someone. Maybe trying to figure out plans with Chanyeol.

“Do you know when Chanyeol is coming back?” He tries to sound nonchalant, keeps his back to Baekhyun as he swiftly throws his clothes into his hamper, he needs to feel busy.

“Tomorrow or Monday. I’m not sure.”

Kyungsoo thinks that is the end of talking about Chanyeol, but Baekhyun continues,

“We’re not—” his voice cuts through him, and Baekhyun starts to crack his knuckles, “we’re not together. Chanyeol and I?” There’s something in his voice, a strain. Kyungsoo turns to find him lying down in his bed, staring at the ceiling. “We never have been.”

“Oh.”

“I thought I should —“ he hesitates, “I wanted to tell you because,” his voice climbs higher and the words come faster, “I just thought you should know. Because of everything before and… because of now.”

Kyungsoo’s head starts to spin. _We’re not together. Chanyeol and I._ The words play themselves over in his head, but he repeats himself, 

“Oh.”

He moves towards his bed at a snails pace, turns off his light, and lifts the blanket to lie down next to Baekhyun. A thrill rushing through him, of hope and terror.

Under his blanket Kyungsoo feels the warmth of Baekhyun’s body as he continues to study the ceiling. Kyungsoo closes his eyes and thinks back to what they used to talk about, the years when they would share a bed, of parallel universes and soulmates. Things Kyungsoo couldn’t realistically wrap his mind around. Things Baekhyun would wistfully speak of as an absolute truth.

 _“Maybe we’re soulmates~”_ he would mock. And Kyungsoo would fix his gaze at him seriously before responding. 

_“Just because people are soulmates that doesn’t mean it works.”_ And Baekhyun would smile, but Kyungsoo always knew it was a sad smile.

But now they say nothing.

They are shrouded in darkness, but eyes adjust. Kyungsoo turns towards Baekhyun to find his gaze fixed right back on him. He’s aware of the sparse distance between them. He’s nervous. He leans in.

Baekhyun meets him.

Their lips connect and their mouths open under each other, warmth pouring from Baekhyun into Kyungsoo, traveling to every inch of his body, converging in the bottom of his stomach. He isn’t new to this, he isn’t new to Baekhyun, but it feels new.

Kyungsoo rolls them so he is on top, in-between Baekhyun’s legs and lifting himself up to gaze down at Baekhyun, chest already rising and falling with his fast breaths, eyes blown out in lust. He sees that lust and he matches it. He grabs the bottom of Baekhyun’s t-shirt, and before he even gets halfway up his chest Baekhyun leans up and holds his arms out, letting Kyungsoo remove it and discard it on the floor. He doesn’t wait in removing his own, throwing it on the floor with Baekhyun’s. They stare at each other for a moment, drinking in the sight of each other, before Kyungsoo leans down and kisses him again.

Baekhyun bites. Nips like a puppy all along Kyungsoo’s jaw and neck, moving to his shoulders and chest. Kyungsoo touches and pushes and pulls. Pulls Baekhyun’s hair, which elicits the softest moan, spurring Kyungsoo further. 

Kyungsoo palms him through his thin underwear and works him to complete hardness. “You know I’ve always liked to be teased~”

“Brat,” Kyungsoo taunts back, with his grip tightening the slightest bit. Baekhyun’s mouth gapes as he arches into the touch, and Kyungsoo moves his hand away from his cock, grinning.

He’s hard now, his cock against Baekhyun’s as he grinds down, and Kyungsoo feels heat spread throughout his entire body. Baekhyun moves with him, making the _cutest_ whimpers, as Kyungsoo sucks on a sensitive spot behind Baekhyun’s ear relentlessly. Baekhyun groans, and Kyungsoo feels it in his chest all the way down to his navel, and he maneuvers themselves again, so Baekhyun is now sitting on top of his crotch, heavy. He wiggles and Kyungsoo’s cock twitches with the stimulation. He grabs Baekhyun by the waist with both hands, a rumble escaping his chest, and holds him still.

“Do you have lube?” Baekhyun asks, and it takes a moment for Kyungsoo to comprehend, but when he does he drags his lips across Baekhyun’s jaw line towards his ear.

“Yes,” he says, “Right here. Give me a moment.”

Baekhyun leans up and briefly leaves Kyungsoo’s lap to remove his underwear. Kyungsoo stretches his arm out, opening the drawer and finding his lube and a strip of condoms. Baekhyun takes the lube and opens the cap, his gaze never wavering from Kyungsoo’s, as Kyungsoo strips himself down to nothing. Baekhyun straddles Kyungsoo’s thighs as he slicks his fingers with lube, and Kyungsoo can see Baekhyun as he teases himself at his entrance.

Baekhyun stretches himself swiftly and thoroughly. He makes a show of it; riding his own fingers, his labored breaths, his soft whimpers of pleasure. It’s driving Kyungsoo insane. He keeps his hands away from his own cock as long as he can, but breaks when Baekhyun is able to get a fourth finger inside of himself, a long moan of pleasure following it before he starts to ride himself. Kyungsoo works his hand up and down his own cock, his pre-come making it glide easily.

“You better,” Baekhyun pants, “Fuck me soon.” His chest blooms red up to his neck from exertion, his hair beginning to stick to the sides. Kyungsoo lets go of himself in favor of opening a condom, rolls it down on himself, looks up at Baekhyun, who’s eyes are dark and has removed his fingers, with anticipation and desire.

“You looked so good,” Kyungsoo says, slicking his cock up with lube, grabbing Baekhyun by the waist and aligning themselves together, “Fucking yourself on your fingers for me.”

Baekhyun grabs the base on Kyungsoo’s cock, rubs the tip back and forth across his stretched hole before guiding the head inside himself. He doesn’t hesitate, sinking himself down onto Kyungsoo’s cock, groaning as he takes him deeper.

Baekhyun doesn’t stop until Kyungsoo is as far in as he’ll go. His cheeks are red and his mouth is lightly parted. “I’m going to kiss you now.”

“Okay,” Kyungsoo says, and Baekhyun moves and Kyungsoo feels himself shift inside Baekhyun. Everything is focused on Baekhyun, the way he nibbles and sucks on his bottom lip before gliding his hips up and back down. Kyungsoo moves in time with him, and everything begins to blend into one another, arms trembling as Baekhyun picks up the pace. “Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun whimpers, high in his throat. It’s such a sweet sound, and it sends Kyungsoo soaring.

Tousled in Kyungsoo’s sheets, some time later, Baekhyun is mapping the plains of Kyungsoo’s chest with his mouth while Kyungsoo plays with his hair. “Do you still believe that we’re soulmates?”

Baekhyun pauses at the question, resting his chin on Kyungsoo’s ribs while he tries to avoid meeting Kyungsoo’s eyes. Kyungsoo continues to comb his fingers through Baekhyun’s damp hair, moves his gaze towards the ceiling, and resumes.

“I don’t want us to try because you think we’re soulmates. We lived without each other for a long time,” Baekhyun looks at him at that, he turns his head to move Kyungsoo’s hand to his mouth, kisses his palm. It sends shivers through Kyungsoo. “but I don’t want to anymore.”

There's a sound that catches in the back of Baekhyun's throat, and Baekhyun moves up and crashes his mouth against Kyungsoo's, and he opens for him. Baekhyun is soft and warm, and it feels right.

 

**Sunday**

Kyungsoo wakes up to the warmth of Baekhyun’s arm wrapped around the front of his waist. The softness in his face is there again while he sleeps. He wants him to wake up though, to spend even more time together, so he firsts starts with kissing his shoulder, moving across his collar bone. Baekhyun stirs, but doesn’t wake. He continues, kitten licks up his neck and at the corner of his jaw. He knows both of them must have terrible breath, but he continues until he reaches the corner of Baekhyun’s mouth. He would nibble on his lip, but Baekhyun does that to himself enough already, so he lightly sucks on his top lip before continuing to kiss up his face.

Baekhyun is shifting, but his lack of vocals lends Kyungsoo to assume he is still asleep. He kisses him across his cheekbone and back down to his neck where he stars lapping and sucking at a singular spot. His skin tastes of salt, and he finally wakes up.

“Fuck, Kyungsoo.” His voice is hoarse from sleep, and it’s a beautiful sound. He removes his mouth from his neck. 

“Good morning.”

“You were notorious for sleeping too much, what happened to that?” Baekhyun covers his face with his arm, and Kyungsoo would think he’s annoyed if he didn’t see the blush rising to his ears.

“My body has an internal alarm clock that runs on sixty hour work weeks is what happened, brat.” he jabs his finger into Baekhyun’s side, which makes him gasp and squirm away from Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo laughs at his reaction, and Baekhyun laughs too.

“You know,” Baekhyun says, “When we were young, and I only had a crush on you, I would tell myself, ‘Do Kyungsoo is going to be in my life forever, because that’s how it’s supposed to be.’”

He finds Kyungsoo’s hand and winds their fingers together. 

“I remember,” says Kyungsoo, “You were never shy about your feelings.”

“But now,” Baekhyun continues, “I tell myself, ‘Do Kyungsoo is going to be in my life forever because I don’t want to live another day without him in it.’” 

Kyungsoo’s pulse is racing, and he’s so grateful for this moment. He squeezes Baekhyun’s hand, and Baekhyun squeezes back. It’s enough.

**Author's Note:**

> warnings: pyrophobia
> 
> thank you for reading! let me know what you thought, & i hope you enjoyed :)


End file.
